Sunday, August 9, 2015

It is Not Goodbye Until We Meet Again

A Butterfly Watches Over Me

As I sit watching the beauty of the summer sky.  I sit and reflect on one of the most difficult journeys I have embarked on to date.  It is easy to question my faith and ask the question why.  Why I do I have to encounter such loss and such hardship, but I am quickly reminded that this is called life here on earth.  I cannot help but feel a sense of bitterness, but I am also quickly reminded that bitterness is an emotion that leads to a poison to our spirit which ultimately causes a bitter spirit. Something that I wish not to possess in my life.  It is very easy to get caught in this trap when your feelings are raw with agony. But understanding that allows me to rid the poison.

I feel such a deep sadness and know that my life has been forever changed as my mother departed earth, but knowing she is with her family and is truly in a place where there is no pain no suffering gives me the ultimate solace.  My thoughts take me to a place not so long ago where my mother was suffering so terribly and the question to our father was “why is this so? Can you not just take her what are you waiting for?”, but again God has a plan for each of us and from the moment we are born we begin to die.  I have to believe that there is a purpose to our birth as there is to our death.

For anyone going through a similar journey know that if you require the strength ask for Gods help and he will provide you with the strength. We must remember that even though the body is sick, the soul and spirit remain very much alive and healthy.  Although my mother’s body was riddled with cancer her spirit always shined through and I knew this.  Her healthy spirit enabled me to cope with her loss here on earth and as I held her hand in her final breaths I actually felt her spirit leave her body and go through mine.  It was one of the most amazing and uplifting feelings I have ever felt in my entire life. Feeling her spirit leave gave me peace and comfort knowing the she was indeed going to her celestial place.

People often say, “You don’t need to be so strong, it is okay to have your moments.” Which indeed I always will, but I have complete faith in our Father and I know he is taking good care of my mother.  Death is a natural part of life and although we would always love to have more time, sometimes it is just not meant to be. I used to be petrified of death, but now I realize it is an inevitable event in our lives. I do not fear this event because I know I to will be taken care of and reunite with my departed loved ones on earth. It is not strength I expel, but faith and the reality of what eternal life truly means.

Although I will miss her beautiful smile and contagious zest for life I take comfort in knowing that she will be waiting for me when I embark on the journey someday.  Mom you are my butterfly and when I see a butterfly I will know it is you. Over the weeks I have seen you come to me many times when I was feeling sadness, but when I saw the butterfly I was quickly reminded you were looking over me.  You are here in spirit forever and always, and it is never truly goodbye, but until we meet again.

The Meaning of a Butterfly